He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.
2 Corinthians 9:10 (ESV)
Lord, as I walked the streets this week I have been struck by all of the people I see begging on the sidewalks. I have not been able to walk a block without seeing someone, clothes tattered, face blotched with dirt, body clearly broken down from their street life, asking if I could spare some money. With layers of clothes wrapped around their wastes due to the extreme heat but retained for evening comfort in the streets, they barely make eye contact because they are used to the answer that I and others give them – either a flat out “no” or silence, acting like we don’t see them there. But they are.
Lord, I feel some sense of guilt today because of my response. In one sense my mind reasons that they most likely will use it for something like drugs and alcohol, harming themselves. In that scenario I believe I am “doing them a favor” by not enabling them. But then there is another reason that I tell myself that really crushes my heart today as I read Paul’s admonishment. I tell myself I can’t help everyone. I don’t have the resources to help them all.
Lord, one gentleman asked me for one dollar. One dollar! I waste that much buying snacks I don’t need. I had it. But didn’t give it. Both of the reasons I just mentioned running through my head. Was I wrong? Should I have reached in my pocket and spared it? Or was I really doing him a favor?
I know that there are some who will tell me that I did the right thing. Others will tell me I should have given it to him. But today, I hear You telling me that every time I see them I must wrestle with the question. I must stop looking at their outward appearance, asking myself why and how they got there. I must, instead look to You and ask YOU is this the reason You have given me resources in this moment? Should I sow seeds in this person’s life?
Father, this is very hard. Help me to sort through my emotions and my worldly reasoning. Help me to hear Your voice. Guide me and direct me. I want to sow that You might be glorified in my giving. Grant me not only a sensitive heart and generous spirit, but also Your discernment and compassion in Jesus’ Name. Amen.